https://youtu.be/39EAmC60Smg

Idea of Sex in buddhism

Sex is not encouraged in Buddhism, but think properly, the less you know, less you think, the less you do involve in sex, the more you enjoy the adventure. Doing it never, he says is great, doing it more will only increase craving and clinging but it also increases dissatisfaction. So, Buddha is always right. It's  we the ignorants can't measure up things in totality!

Kamasutta the original Buddha says its better than sticking it in the mouth of poisonous cobra instead of having sex with women, which indirectly calls for absolute celibacy, on the other hand kamasutra was written totally against this ideology. It is celebrated as the best & the oldest expertise on the idea of sex. So, we can imagine when the world started pushing and advertising going against the word of the most intelligent Buddha! But take a back and a serious look yourself! 

7steps to begin to follow the Buddha even if you arent a Buddhist!

Buddha is like a perfect Well-wisher, your family doctor and a Great Philanthropic scientist who discovered fundamental laws and explained it thoroughly so that you can escape from  sorrows.

Following the Buddha is very very simple and highly beneficial, That's because only when the Teacher is the subject expert, he knows the best, Only he can put it in the simplest words which can be understood by common people. 

Buddha was born in the sakyan linage as son of a chieftain. His father loved him a lot and took care of him very well. Buddha was married at an young age to a beautiful girl yashodhara. At the age of 29 Buddha went on the city rounds which he was abandoned till then by his father. Then he saw for the first time that an aged person who walked with great difficulty and a sick person and a corpse. When asked he was told that everyone including he himself had to undergo these stages of life. Buddha couldn’t bear with this news, he thought that humans are living like fools . We are accepting the reasons for ourselves to be born, age, fall sick and die, We not only are ignorant about why this is unstoppable and also we had no control over this . He decided that he will not rest until he found answers for what is the reason for this cycle of birth and death, and find out who is responsible for this and see to that this cycle of birth and death is under our control. He went out of his palace and roamed in forest, studied with the best gurus of the time and landed in forest adjacent to uruvela. There he tried all possible methods he knew, he heard and he learnt. Finally gave up all other methods and went on his own when he understood there’s something more he has to do. Alone, one full moon night, after attaining, confidence, perfect mindfulness, concentration on breathing which he once practiced and attained first level of Jhana or dhyana or Zen, he took a stance that he wouldn’t get up even if his body breaks until he found the truth. That night he could see who is responsible for this cycle of birth, aging, sickness, death and all the sorrows in between . He found that there was nothing outside which was responsible, it was his own desire that caused this, Then spent weeks in meditation and understanding the laws of nature and the way to attain permanent happiness where there was no aging, sickness or death. He was convinced that this truth has to be shared to the world for the benefit of people who had less dust in their eyes and could understand the truth he discovered. He set out to explain the same and built an army full of love and kindness to wage war on ignorance, hatred and lust of humans. He walked for full 45 years and expounded 84000 suttas which were confirmed by 500 arahants( his disciples who had succeeded to see the truth he explained), memorized by other monks and recorded and preserved till date. What we discuss further will be from these suttas which are the best gift one can have as humans.

 Most of the new comers think that it is better to be the Buddha instead of following the Buddha, But I welcome all of you to understand what he undertook to be a Buddha, It is said that only when one attains highest perfection in all of  these exalted spiritual qualities called as Paramais

( Highest perfections ) in pali like Giving ( donations or Dana ), Virtue ( Sila ),     Renunciation ( Nekhama ), Wisdom ( Pannaa ), Self effort ( viriya ), Forbearance ( Khanti ), Truthfulness( sacca ), Determination( adhittana ), Universal love( Metta ) and lastly Equanimity( Upekkha ).

Once an old lady asked the Buddha as for how can she-at that age- learn such complex lengthy discourses he delivers. Buddha said all that he speaks is about doing useful deeds, not doing any actions that will cause us harm in the coming future and lastly and most importantly purifying the mind. Simple, if you can understand this much , I think much of this book is understood, but then the point is , it is easy to say but not so easy to do, reading this tiny book will only educate you as for how exactly to do this and reap benefits. Buddha says that he only shows the path,you will have to walk it on your own. You can follow the Buddha by experiencing the truth he said and not by blindly believing in what he said. Hence you have some exercise to do from now on and not only pray and wait for good things to come.

Buddhism in total is method for you to discover the laws of nature and choose the path of happiness. Take your time as there's nothing strict  rigid rules in Buddhism. As a beginner, all you just need to do is to follow 5 precepts and meditate( develop control over mind through mindfulness and awareness.) to see immediate benefits. Then slowly go deep into the other questions of your life, secrets of nature. Infact don't be a hurry to decide about God, origin of universe, Soul or whatever. Nobody stops you to be a Buddhist with any of such question but be open to change yourself once you find right answers to your questions.Because people are ignorant about a lot of ideas, they don’t ask because they think, it may hurt the guru or the parents or any senior member in the family or friend circle , hence we just follow what they say and once mind accepts anything as truth , it will have shockers when something different is said and cant digest or don’t like to change quickly. So go slow. It is easy to learn useless and negative ideas but it is difficult to pick up, learn and practice what is truth. That's how I began, most of my basic ideas of life has taken a roller-coaster ride. But I have added a lot of information, calmness which is unparallel to anything else in the world. & I don't want to exchange that with any amount of money, name or fame which I would've acquired being lustful, greedy and deluded of truth. So, start slowly, go one by one, enjoy every moment of life and bring peace and joy wherever you go. This is more important than having a lot of information about God and soul and be highly well informed about whatsoever but yet be discontented and spread fear amongst the group wherever one goes. 

All you have to do in the beginning is to give up your ego which is usually full of lust , hatred and delusion and your baggage of past information which is rigid and pulling you down to the unsatisfactory and discontented nature that you may experience some or the othertime. First thing you have to learn is that by being hateful, you can’t win over hatredness, only by love you can win. This is the eternal law which Buddha discovered. Only by giving and not being lustful has person seen better days in future. So with delusion. Only enjoying in this life with what you have not being intelligent and virtuous , nobody has been happy for long is what Buddha saw with his powerful seeing all things as they are capacity. Be ready to unlearn what's useless and verify and accept the changes that happen to you. Be on a constant vigil, This is what Buddha said , don’t  accept just because Buddha himself said, Buddhas just show the path, It is you who has to walk the path. So, just to see if the peace and joyousness in your life is increasing day by day or decreasing. You can stop anytime you want and verify with tipitakas which is just a Google click away, but please don't take any hasty decision which may hurt the interest of your family members who have been taking care of you all the while till now. Develop enough love and kindness to convince others later but first you be thoroughly good in your intentions, speech and action which impresses your surrounding environment. Win their hearts only by doing good to them not at all by hurting them. 

I propose 7 simple steps to follow up with what Buddha said and be peaceful in life. Go slow, when in doubt, park the doubt, keep looking for the right answers but don't stop the practice. 

1step

 So many times just at looking at the ever smiling statue of Buddha, people who doesn’t know about him have wondered as for who is this, why is his smile, contagious, people have walked to the nearest temple with the photo and began the quest of  peaceful life.

All you have to do is to have an idol if you can afford one. If not then you can have a look at a statue or a photo once you get to see, wherever it is, close your eyes and try to remember how much you can, whenever you want  and wherever you are. The reason is you are looking at a perfect human being nature has ever produced and you're wishing your self to be as peaceful as the idol and as perfect as possible by following what he said. Normally all Rich and Educated families will have a Buddha idol at least for a show off. They get to look at a perfect being but that is not sufficient, you have a long way to go, learn what he saw, what he said and then practice diligently what he said to really be peaceful. Please remember that only when you follow the best teacher, you can get best marks, not by following someone who has failed in his own life, yet preach the best ideas for others to be peaceful. 

2.step.

Say thanks to Buddha the perfect one, Dhamma, the laws of the nature he discovered and sangha, the group of people who have taken it seriously and memorized the same what he said and worked hard to make sure it reached you. This strengthen the trust and faith in following the path he discovered. Do this by saying 3 times every day morning. 

Buddhangsarananggatchami meaning I go to refuge of the supreme master

Dhammangsarananggatchami meaning I go to refuge of the true laws expounded

Sanghangsarananggatchami meaning I go to refuge of the group of monks who worked to bring this truth to me.

3 step.

Know what you want by following Buddha 

To be clear about what is dukha, the closest translation is sorrow. But later learn the exact meaning of dukha, you will be amazed at the details of what Buddha wanted to convey. When he says dukha is one word to represent sorrow, lamentation,pain,dejection, despair.

To understand that any sorrow or suffering has a cause and an origin.

To understand that cessation of all sorts of sorrows is possible.

To learn the path and begin to practice it seriously so that you are empowered to end all kinds of suffering permanently . That path is called middle path, the nobel path, the eight fold path. 

4th step

Take a look at the top 5 precepts which are basic to get to feel what's right or wrong 

1.Mind your tongue.

Do not lie at any cost. 

If you can't stop lying totally immediately, be aware everytime you lie and see how you can reduce or give up lying next time. 

Don't waste your time on useless ideas, talking or gossip etc. 

If you look deeply Buddha  said not to lie at any cost, it has a profound effect if you study it in detail. 

2.Give up silence only when you pass these three tests. 

Is it useful? 

Is it kind? 

Is it necessary? 

3.Don't take anything that doesn't belong to you 

Because it breaks the harmony both in you and in the nature 

4.Don't kill any living being because you are also a living being  and you don't like to be killed. 

5.Don't get attached to intoxicating drinks which will kill the capacity of your awareness 

6.Don't commit adultery as you don't like to be cheated.

This is the most Basic values that any person would like his or her friends or anyone in family to have,  by the way if you find anyone having these qualities, make him or her your friend as quickly as possible because there aren't many with these simple unique qualities. Any skills-set however difficult it is, can be picked up but these values. People say they are simple, and expect everybody else to meet these standards but want themselves to be excluded. They don't even know what virtues they hold if they practice them. If they know, then they will not be ready to check and verify if they themselves are breaking any of the above. So, some of the above ,some people be very strict in following but they'll be very weak in the other. It depends on what circumstances they will live or what values they've practiced since childhood. What values their surrounding environment is forcing them into. But mind you each of them is equally important and they cannot be chosen one over the other.

There's no ending for someone who wants to learn what the Buddha taught, It may take life time to get to know everything he said. Let me tell you  about what I picked as an example.

I used to speak no lies but wouldn't mind to hurt the opposite person. I would also not measure whether it is useful or not, so ended up speaking a lot. Hence used to waste a lot of time. Now I am aware of the consequences and hence I have improved a lot.

5th step

Meditation.

This has become a huge jargon for those who don't know but a simplest, time consuming and boring alternative to those who have done it for sometime earlier but have given up after a while. Most feel there's no time to do it. All of the above is myth. Don't rush to draw conclusion.

First understand that meditation is a way to get to know yourself better at the beginning, but then it is a powerful weapon to purify your own mind.

Just like you look at mirror to look at your outside physical beauty, you need time to look at how your body and mind will interact, perform & react to critical situations in life. This requires a serious regular training. Hence 20 minutes is minimum requirement per day. If you don't have any time, increase this session so that you can really enjoy the rest of the day.

How and what do you really do in meditation?

First you sit in a safe place ( so that you don’t fall and hurt yourself, ground, not near any sharp edged objects is suitable)and in a comfortable position usually crossed legs and upright back, head straight( So that you can sit for long time without discomfort). Close your eyes and do the following methods. 

1 Metta meditation where you share love and compassion to everyone in your life starting right from you, then your parents, your siblings, your relatives, entire family, friends, colleagues and strangers and finally your enemies and the entire world at the end. You just see their smiling faces and wish them good luck & health.

2. Anapanasati meditation is where you look at your own breath and keep observing the same. Forgive yourself for all the conversations that occur but continue to observe the breath. What does this do, it improves your concentration on the job you do and hence your work in hand will be as perfect as possible.

3. Vipassana meditation is where you take this improved concentration and watch your entire body without like or dislike to whatever sensation arises in your Body. What this does is it improves awareness of your mind over body and hence your mindfulness improves by which your empathy for what's going on in your life and also for those people who are involved in your workplace or wherever you may go. This improves teamwork and performance of your team.

There are deeply detailed information about the meditation in various books but for a beginner who is about to experience happiness from what  Buddha taught and sharing the same with family and friends, this introduction is sufficient. Best would be to learn from a monk, but if you cant afford to get one soon, metta could be tried for six months and then slowly move on to samatha and anapanasati meditation could be tried. Once you get good control go for vipassana. Discuss with monks online if you cant afford to meet them physically. Buddha has spoken about 40 objects of meditation.Please go in detail once you understand basics and you want to take it futher.

Mainly Buddha wanted 3 basic fundamentals to be understood by his followers who were laypeople. 

1.Sila; Moral discipline 

2.Samadhi; Mental control, right concentration and right mindfulness.

3 Wisdom; How can you gain wisdom?

A.     By listening and learning and practicing good virtues.

B.     By thinking and arriving at the right logic and putting it to use.

C.     By Experiencing the effect of what you wanted and then arriving at the conclusion.

Wisdom of all the above kind is needed so that you can handle your day to day life with intelligence and get into better state of your life. Use your wisdom to identify that your mind will always look for lust, greed or hatred naturally because of ignorance. Only as you grow wise you can find it and overcome slowly. It's not easy as the baggage is from childhood and earlier. 

The best way to overcome lust, greed and hatred is by developing 4 mental stages as in  bramhaviharas(how good people live)  namely

Metta; love and kindness,

Muditha; being happy with others achievements.

Karuna; compassion with others problems.

Upekka; equanimity when you are thinking  regarding anything  about self and others concerns. 

6th step

Another important thing Buddha says is to donate the needy. 

He says that if you know the importance donations, then you will donate before having one morsel of food. 

But he says please find out whether your donation will be rightly used or will it be misused because it will cause more harm than benefits for the person who is donating. The better the receiver, the better the effects of donations

So, we have covered the basic details, let's get into the serious side.

Slowly accommodate to the truth. Verify with your existing foundations and keep going if they are not contradicting each other. Let the debate happen within yourself, don't bring anything with your families or friends, don't discuss until you are clear, don't worry, there's nothing to hurry. Debates with others may cause havoc. Treat this as the spiritual journey which you have to walk all your life. Go back to the tipitakas if you still have doubts, discuss with monks and gurus, don't resort to harsh speech at any cost. Violence is last resort of a scoundrel. So never go there. The more you develop mindfulness you can overcome all these negative qualities and people , wherever you go,  would like to be with you as you will be the abode of peace , compassion and joy.

Keep Asking whether the thoughts that arise of your intentions are in the right direction? whether these thoughts are based on the right views? How? look at the consequences of such thoughts, discussions and decisions that are taken on the basis of your basic views. See what you can do to change these views if at all you find they are not contradicting to the peace and joy you are thinking of, compare and verify with what Buddha said. Now go on to read and verify the collection of what Buddha said as right view then compare your views and look at the end result if you continue to have the same view. Choose what you feel correct but don't stop until you feel comfortable. When you feel comfortable explain the same to your close friend or a family member who is close to you and make sure you don't want to hurt their feelings, see to that they have happy results which make them feel better. Then rest assured that they will start understanding and liking your choices.

7th step

Understand and follow 8 fold path which Buddha prescribed for everyone.

1^ST fold; Right understanding - sammaditti.

This should encourage you to keep asking your mind each and every moment. What you know is the foundation on which we are continually thinking based on . Does this foundation lead us to end suffering permanently does it lead us to eternal happiness? Ask. Understand if it is right view of your spiritual path. Ask if you have understood what is sorrow, what is the origin of sorrow , is the cessation possible, is there a path for cessation of sorrows.

2^nd Fold; Right intentions - samma sankappa.

Intentions are the cause of all the effects. Ask if your intentions are of good will and not ill will.

If your intentions are of acquiring more or towards self sustenance, renunciation,. Please verify if any of your intentions are harming others, others may be someone in your family, friends circle, or your office colleague, or a stranger or your age old enemy or a new presumed enemy. See to that all your intentions are harmless at any cost.

3^rd fold; Right speech –samma vacca.

Speak only when your silence needs to be broken. Stop lying, gossiping or useless talking. 

you can't stop avoiding these immediately, be aware everytime you speak a lie or a useless talk and see how you can reduce or give up next time.

Give up silence only when you pass these three tests. 

Is it useful? 

Is it kind? 

Is it necessary? 

Ask if your speech abstaining from false speech, from slanderous speech, from harsh speech, from idle, useless chatter.

Dont expect quick changes because you have built up these habits over a long time, it will take longer while to give up also. 

4^th fold; Right action- sammakamantha

The action that brings useful positive results not only suddenly but it also long lasting can be called as right action. Not only good positive results for you but all people on the planet. 

Right action is not stealing, not killing not developing attachment for sense pleasure like alcoholism or drugs or committing adultry.

Would you like to be a friend of someone who is famous for this, wouldn’t you check on your friends if they are following any the above and try to keep them away!

5^th fold; Right effort- samma vayama.

To do wrong things, it doesn't need caution, but otherwise you need to be careful. It is difficult to be mindfully alert all the time, that's why few get top marks or best results. Care less and lazy guyz are in plenty, so beware. 

Right efforts is needed to develop good skills and knowledge is as equally important as efforts to give up wrong habits, to develop restraint on pleasurable senses. Be watchful of your efforts leading to un wholesome states, encourage and maintain the efforts that lead to wholesome states for who so ever you can extend your circle.

6^th fold;Right livelihood- samma ajiva 

Basically Buddha says not to  earn by killing or selling livestock, selling poison or weapons because the effects of such occupation can't controlled. It may be detrimental to the scale unimaginable by yourself. Mostly the effect being negative, the repercussions may be hugely harmful. This is a sightly controversial issue if you find something that is going against to the rules Buddha prescribed. so, keep doing what you do and verify if it matches with what Buddha said. So, even if you are in such business because of the family members, keep thinking, check and follow the other precepts and other 7 folds of this noble path . It may lead you out. Taking care of your family is more important, so, keeping your family in mind, you need to decide without hastening.

7^th fold; Right mindfulness –samma sathi

This is the way you can improve your own intrapersonal behaviour and hence your performance in the work you do. This  has become a corporate jargon, It is used by all experts everywhere whether it is sports or complex business processes. They are expecting a calm mind which can perform very well in a team and hence the productivity of the team and the production of the company improves with the mindful excercises.

This can be explained in four important parts.

Mindfulness contemplation of body – kayanu passana.

Mindfulness contemplation of feelings- vedananu passana.

Mindfulness contemplation of mind – cittanu passana.

Mindfulness contemplation of phenomena of life cycle – dhammanu passana.

8^th fold; Right concentration- samma Samadhi.

This is the way you look at you’re the extent of concentration. There are four levels of concentration, it is with this word, Samadhi that the famous word Zen has arrived. Origin is dyana or Jhana as in pali. Zen has taken over the world by storm but luckily they are sticking on the Buddha as the source for this most modern thinking lifestyle and the best way of life.

It is about awareness all the time. Not only awareness of yourself but you have to be aware of  your family and friends necessities and personal growth. This will improve your team work and have faithful friends and respect amongst your family members. 

I have tried to keep the information as simple and possible as this is level 0, assuming that you are a newcomer.

If you are not satisfied with the information above, then it is really a good sign. Google tiptiakas, Read suttas, learn pali and discuss with monks you meet. All the best!

Buddha has covered everything that is required for a human being to lead a peaceful, joyous and prosperous new life. On Profession he says select the idea or a job that you like and give your life in achieving perfection in that, because that's how you can help yourself and your society. That's how you can earn money, which is needed for success in life. Even if money is not everything, don't forget it is needed unless  you decide to be a monk.

He has spoken about savings. He said 1/4 should be saved for future, 1/2 should be spent on improving the quality of work or business. 1/4th should be spent on society especially on donations so that other good things come back to you or to stop bad things happening to you. You can develop a good network of people. People believe in you and help in the time of necessity.

As for over coming negativity, solution Buddha says is develop restraint on negative thinking, put efforts for meditation, don't worry about people or things that you missed. Forgive and Forget people who hurt you. Don't get into comparison with people who achieved more, you don't know what path they have chosen or what problems they face, develop muditha( generosity ) and go ahead with your planning, get into a serious project or work and keep going.

At the time of the Buddha there were no organized religions. But there were  6 schools of thoughts followed by  different gurus. They almost seem like the religions today but we're not a strict as they are now. The Buddha had debates with all the gurus and the followers he met. He made them understand the flaws of the rules & rituals they followed if any & explained in detail the reason they were following and also the effect of the same rules and rituals. He discovered the laws of nature and also the rules of life which led to  peace and joy. These set of rules which he proved would lead to wholesome life were explained in detail to his followers. They first saw peace and joy for themselves then monks who joined him as desciples practised and memorized each and every word he said to pass it on to the next generation. The same set of rules are followed even today. While it is not strict to follow the rules and nobody questions you if you break. You are your own master here. That's why people of all religions like the Buddha. Secondly if some people had problems in life like having prolonged headache, stress, anger, depression or anxiety for which they go to psychiatric doctor, doctors are prescribing meditation which Buddha discovered. Doctors, now a days, have found out that 95% of the cause of all the diseases that appear in the body is due to  mind that’s why they call is psychosomatic diseases. Buddha has given very high importance to mind and has discussed in detail about it. The modern psychology is still in its infancy when it compares with what Buddha said. Buddhism some say is not a religion but a way of life or philosophy to lead a peaceful life. I say it is a set of rules and regulations to be peacefully successful. This is why most people are interested in the Buddha. Also when people are questioning about the problems they face in their own lives, they find that they are seeing right answers in the rules and regulations of the Buddha. Then they are getting a chance to read more about the Buddha and like the ideas he has preached. So, please take it the way you want but see to that you are benefitted. Then pass on the benefits to your family and friends wherever you go. That's what he expected of you, not anything else.